This was posted today and is soooo appropriate for my life right now. Today was another interview and yet another "I'm sorry but we decided to hire another person who interviewed." Now I could sit in my easy chair with a box of tissues and chocolate and either a sappy movie or a sappy book to have a good cry. But why??? As much as I want to curl up into a ball and cry I know deep down there is a reason for the no. There is something better coming. I have to have faith and know that He will take care of me.
Today I had to go to Yankton and get my eye checked. Saturday Breanna was upset and scratched my eye, even knocking out my contact. It has been burning ever since so i needed to get it looked at to make sure she didn't damage my eye. (I know she is killing my hearing by screaming directly into my ear she doesn't need to take my sight too. Oh and everything was OK.) Back to the story, on the way there I got behind a pickup pulling a grain cart with traffic just right so I couldn't pass. My first instinct was, "Blessed Farmer taking up the whole road!" Then my mind went back to the story I've read time and time again of all the people who were not in the Twin Towers on 9/11 because of some kind of little obstacle and God put that obstacle there so they WOULDN'T be there. (A couple examples that stick out...someone was late due to it was his morning to provide the donuts and there was a line in the donut shop....a dad wanted to take his daughter to her first day of school....someone got a blister from their new pair of shoes and they stopped for a band aid.) Since I've really reflected on that story I don't get upset with those situation anymore. OK so I still get upset with the other drivers that make the choices to pass or do something life threatening, but not with the obstacle that is in my way.
I know deep in my heart, and firmly believe that God has a plan and purpose for me. Do I get mad at Him? You bet I do! I want, like many of you, the neon flashing sign with the arrow and specific directions where to turn. OK I want God to take over my GPS and tell me in His soothing voice, "turn left at Albuquerque, apply for the job at _________, stay home and be the Mom you are meant to be for the children I have given you and the husband I have blessed you with."
But I know that's not going to happen. I can't sit back on my heels and wait for that to happen. I have to do some work. In this work it may cause pain and confusion, but it WILL be worth it! God isn't there with a neon flashing sign, but He is there with a gentle whisper in my ear, a slight push on the shoulder, and sometimes a kick in the you-know-what. I need to stay alert and be ready to feel and hear Him talking to me.
So I will not look at the "No" from the last three interviews hold me back. I will carry on with my head held high and keep looking for the small signs.
But God, just a reminder, I am getting deaf due to the little challenge you have given me called Breanna, so You may have to turn up the volume on Your voice so I can hear you. OK?!?!?!
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