Sunday, October 12, 2014

Never a Dull Trip

Today B and I embarked on an adventure.  Ok so it started out as just a trip to Lincoln, NE for her six month brace check.  Sounds simple right?  How quick you forget NOTHING is simple when Missy B is involved.
We started out bright and early this morning.  I wanted to be on the road by 5:30 (we had an 8:30 appointment) but when you have to pack, check the vehicle, wake a girl, dress a girl, shower and get yourself ready, and not necessarily in that order, things don't always go the way you hoped.  So our adventure started at 6:15 instead.  Yes this meant I was going to be late already.  Not a huge deal, but a deal none the less.  After we counted kittens to make sure we didn't have any hitch hikers we were on our way.
Drove until we reached Columbus and then decided a stretch break/bathroom break was necessary.  I bought myself some Clarkson Bakery Kolaches and something for both of us to drink.  There was a sippy cup with a straw in the van so I put some pop in it for B.  (Let me note:  I DO know that this can be a disaster but so can a whole bottle of pop being turned upside down while a girl giggles.  Yep been there done both.)  Off we were again. 
After about 15 minutes or so of driving I hear giggles from the back seat.  I look in the rear view mirror and I see Mt. Diet Coke raising up from between the seats. "I ain't got time for this!"  I thank God that it is DIET coke and won't leave a huge sticky mess everywhere and just keep driving, just keep driving.

Diet Coke Splatter on the area where the DVD player is.

Another photo of the Diet Coke lava.
We continue on to Lincoln pretty much incident free.  (I'm sure something probably happened but my brain blocked it out to protect itself.)
We could not find parking on the first level of the parking garage and I had to go up to 2nd floor.  Now I really don't like parking garages (too much freedom and fresh air growing up I guess) and really hate when I have to go up levels.  The drive down isn't much more enjoyable either.  But this was different than what we usually do.
We go to get on the elevator and a little lady is now questioning where we are and what we may be doing here.  It really hit her when we got off at the main level and began walking into the hospital.  She has NEVER refused to walk into this building before and I had to put on the Autism Mom detective hat and think why now?  I finally concluded that every hospital has the same smell (basically) and she must be scared there is going to be a repeat of the "break fluid" incident which meant she was poked every 4 hours.  She is now throwing herself on the floor, screaming and crawling slowly toward me.  I knew if I tried to pull her it would make it worse so I was slowly walking down the hall and she was coming closer as she doesn't want to loose mom here.  
God sent us an angle at this point in the form of Wendy one of the Ortho people we work with on B's brace.  She went over to B, who looked up and smiled at her, and talked to B.  She was able to get B up off the floor and walk down the hall holding both of our hands.  This was such a lifesaver.  We both assured her there would be no pokes on this visit.  Wendy needed to go help another patient and left us promising B a huge hug if she was good the rest of the visit.  (She did follow through!)
We then went and checked in for our visit.  B was cooperative by this point because she new this place and this routine.  Then it was time for x-ray and we fell to pieces again.
First they had to take us to a different area in the hospital for x-ray than B was use to.  (Let's face it we do this every 6 months so she knows how this works.  In fact it seems like we get a new Shriner to escort us every  time, and when I say new I don't just mean to us I mean they have never done this before so we lead him.)
Now we are waiting in a tiny waiting room with 3 other patients, their Shriner and their parent or parents.  B was very uncomfortable.  We get called back for the x-rays and I'm thinking this is getting better now.
Oops spoke too soon.  She did not want to cooperate.  She stepped up on the stand like this was going to be ok and then turned into a HUGE rag doll.  After struggling to get her to stand again they decide I need a lead vest.  I'm thinking, "I don't care let's just get this done!!!"  They gown me up and another helper, go to take the x-ray and THE MACHINE DOESN'T WORK!!!!!  Ok reset the machine, let's try it again.  NOPE!!!!  After 4 reposing/resetting/mom ready to scream-at-the-top-of-her-lungs attempts for an x-ray they ask us to step outside and wait in the hall while they try to figure it out.

Thank goodness for ipads and Jessie to get through all this.
So we are now sitting in the hall way for about 5 to 10 minutes.  No one is going in or out of the room, I can hear them talking in there, and other patients are in and out of the other x-ray rooms nearby.  B is now starting to scream, which really echoes in hospital hallways BTW, and I'm about reduced to a puddle of tears.  Finally someone comes and says they have the machines ready and running in the area we usually go to they are going to take us over there.  REALLY!!!!!  Gather all our stuff (almost forgot B's shoes) and off to where we usually go.
There we are pretty much taken right back and the x-ray is done in one shot!  (She knows what to do here.)
Now we wait in the lobby with all the others to see the Doctor.  This was only about 10 minutes or so.  I really don't know as she decided it was time for a pants change and that seems to take forever anyway.  LOL
Clown in training.

I wish she would have turned around, she was really cute, but B wanted nothing to do with her.
We now are taken to a room to wait for the doctor.  They tell me it's Dr. Guidera and I'm thinking yeah right.  Dr. Guidera is the very first Doctor we dealt with in Minneapolis.  He is the doctor that looked us in the eyes, oh so long ago, and told us we would be running after her in the halls someday.  He holds a very special place in our hearts.  But we were told he moved to Florida.  Ends up he was there, I asked another person about it and they told me he likes to meet them, when he can, at out reach clinics.  It was WONDERFUL to see him again.

This was the stool in the room we waited to see the doctor in.  All I could think of was Twilight.

Once again the iPad was a lifesaver!!!

I tried to find the last x-ray so you could see the difference, but no luck.
The doctor did give us some good news (the one bright spot in the day).  Making sure her brace is tight made all the difference.  Last time the doctor (a different one) was starting to talk surgery as the curves were measuring over 30 degrees each in the brace.  This time we were at 17 degrees and 20 degrees much better and no more talk of surgery!!!!  THANK YOU GOD!!!!!
We also saw Wendy and Tim who thought the brace looked good, gave us a few more pointers on wearing it and taking care of it.  Also took her insert from one shoe so they could build it up as it was wearing out already.
We LOVE our Shriners.

She wore herself out!  (BTW this is very unusual.  She hardly ever sleeps in a vehicle or during the day even.)
On the way home I decided to take a break in David City and visit the cemetery where my grandparents and uncle are buried.  I did not realize that Grandpa passed away so close to my Birthday.  I really need to make note of these dates better.  

I also stopped at my cousin's house (Deb Dinkelman).  My other cousin Dan's daughter was home visiting after being in Germany in the service for a number of years.  I was able to meet her husband Kenny and see their daughter Bailey again.  Her life is so blessed and I was honored to spend some time with all of them.  
Breanna did not want to get out of the van at her house (a different place than she was use to again).  It wasn't too cold or hot and I kept looking out the window checking on her.  When I got in the van I could smell something (perfume) and could not place the smell.  I knew it was something I had smelled before, but could not place it.  But we were on our way and I just wanted to get home at this point.
Just after we went through Columbus B hands me a diaper.  She wanted to be changed.  I told her we would stop in the next town.  So in Humphrey I stopped to change her pants.  There I discovered the source of the odor.  She had found (who knows where) a very small, thank goodness, bottle of Polo.  Let me tell you it smells WAY better on the men in my house than on my van.  Also, due to a "recall" on the switch to the vent windows of the van they are disabled and I couldn't open a window to air it out a bit.  I'm just glad it wasn't a bigger bottle or a bottle of something that I couldn't stand.  
As I said this may not be all that happened, but my brain may have blocked out some things to protect my sanity.  It just seems that when it rains it pours or in my case floods.
When we leave the Shriners they always have us do an exit survey.  I told them I would pass this time.  They were a bit concerned, but I assured them that all the things I had issues with were things they didn't have any control over.  (Mostly the x-ray equipment) I didn't want my issues to be reflected as anything they did or didn't do. All I can do is pray next time will be better.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

I Am So Proud!!!


I'm so sorry if you don't want to read something sappy and a mother bragging, please go to a different blog.  I just hope that some day my not-so-little-anymore man and not-so-baby-anymore baby-girl will read this and realize how proud they have made me to this point and I'm sure beyond.

When I first held each of them my brain could not handle nor could my dreams ever be big enough to even touch what has happened and continues to happen on a daily basis with these two.

Let me start with my not-so-little-anymore man.  Last night he became, what I would consider, an adult in the Catholic Church.  Last night, looking through tears, I watched my little boy be confirmed.  

It was beautiful.  I really LOVE how the bishop smiled at him.  (He did it with every child, but it meant a lot to this mom.)  I am so proud of the fine young man that God has blessed me with.  Now I'm not saying my son is a saint, and he tests my ability to ever become one sometimes too, but when I have others tell me what a fine, kind, caring young man he is I want to melt into a puddle.  I have prayed every day, since I found out God was gifting us with a child, that my child would be kind, and caring.  God has defiantly heard that prayer.  I know we have a long way to go, but I know we are on the right track.

I am also blessed that I don't really need to worry about his grades.  God gave him a very gifted brain, when it wants to be.  LOL  I wish I would have been able to get the grades this young man does.  He needs to work a bit, but for the most part things come very easy to him.  I know I let my guard down too often on this front with him, but I rest assured he will correct what needs to be quickly. 

Lastly I am so blessed that he loves his little sister as much as he does.  It doesn't always show, especially when she breaks his favorite thing or runs off with his DS, but it shows when needed the most.  Every time I have been concerned about Breanna's health or we have had to run her to the Doctor in an emergency he has shown such love and compassion for her I could burst with pride.  I know if something happens to me he will be right there to take my place and watch out for her.

Reid, thank you for being the best son I could have ever asked for!  You don't know how many times my heart expands with pride for you!  You are everything I have ever asked for or dreamed of in a son!  Please know that I love you and am VERY proud to call you my son!!!

The other person in my house that I am sooooo proud of is Missy B!!!  Even though she has not met as many milestones as her brother she has overcome soooo many obstacles I don't know where to start.

Let me just encompass all of them by saying....I am so proud she has figured out her own way to let me know some of the things she needs/wants.  She will bring me what she wants to eat or drink.  It breaks my heart to tell her no, but I don't want her to learn she will get everything she wants.

She amazes me with her ability to know who will accept her and who will turn her away.  She is also quite funny when she sees someone outside of the normal environment she sees them in it will throw her off a bit, but she soon is smothering them with hugs and kisses.  I soooo enjoy watching her grow and learn.  

I really love seeing her learn new things.  She is amazing with how she overcomes the things that get in her way.

I am so proud she so somewhat independent.  I am proud that she is mobile and can be (kind-of) trusted with some freedoms.  I love that is so soooo free with hugs and kisses!  I can't wait to see what God has in store for her!!

I am so proud to call these two my children.  God has given me a blessing that I will always be thankful for and never take for granted.  I am praying that they continue to grow in faith and knowledge every day.  

I am a very emotional person and when you ask me about my children I may have tears in my eyes, but they are tears of pride!  I will admit I cried last night and will definitely cry at whatever the next big milestone is for either of my children.  Just have a box of Kleenex handy for me the day that Missy B makes her first communion.  Heck have a whole CASE for me that day.  That is my next big step with her and I will fight with all my might to make that happen!  (Darn it I'm starting already!! LOL)

I can't end this without at least mentioning that I have one other child I am proud of.  That is my miscarried child Danny Chris.  I am so proud that God gave me the blessing of bringing a soul to life even if I never got to hold, or kiss Danny.  I know that Danny is helping his/her brother and sister more in heaven than they ever could have here on earth.  I know that Danny is who is praying the hardest for his/her mommy and daddy to have enough strength, patients and faith to take care of his/her siblings.  Thank you Danny and I am proud of you as well.  You get to see God, Jesus and Mary every day.  Be ready to introduce me to them when I get there too.

God please bless all my children with strength for their days, peace for their nights and faith in You to get them through everything!!!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Growing in the Lord

I've been meaning to work on this blog for sometime now.   OK since Spring if you must know.   That's pretty obvious if you look at the photos I have included.  
Every spring I am amazed at how God takes our dark, dry (usually) earth and turns it, in what seems like overnight, a lush carpet of green and other colors.   Every year it fascinates me more and more.   This year it had a little help in that I tried to control some of the green by planting a garden.   I had some help, I don't know that it would have all gotten done if I didn't. But it was tilled and seeded and I waited for the green while my mouth watered thinking of the wonderful flavorful produce it would provide.
I tried to control the weeds, and did a fairly good job at first, and was in awe of the changes I kept seeing every time I went out there.   The most impressive part was just how hard some of the seeds had to work to become the fruitful plants I ended up with.  Some of those poor little plants had to move mountains to get to the point of producing fruit.  
They worked so hard but you know what? The plants that had the hardest time breaking through the ground were the strongest most productive plants out there.  
The ones that just popped up and grew with no mountains in their way were not as strong or productive.  
This reminded me a lot of my life.   I struggled through many phases growing up.   I wasn't the most popular person in the world.   At the time it in really struggled with who I was and who I was meant to be.   Often times I let that get in the way of really enjoying life.   Oh not many people knew of this struggle, I did a good job of keeping the weight of it to myself.  
But now I see that struggle helped shape me into the person I am today.   I'm stronger, wiser and I hope more fruitful because of it.  
Just like the plants struggling to break through the ground I had to have a mountain in my way so that I could come out better on the other side.
Did I do this struggle alone? Sometimes it felt like it.   I know now, more than I did then, that my parents always had my back.   They gave me the proverbial food, water and just enough space for me to learn what I needed each step of the way.   I may have pushed them aside and said I didn't need them. But just like a master gardener they knew when to "leave it alone"  so it could make me stronger.
The other thing I had on my side was a strong faith, a seed planted by those master gardeners too, that everything would be OK and God was there all the time.   I knew that when the burden was getting too heavy I could turn to God and ask for help.   Now my plants in the garden can't ask me for help but I can see and remove things that are in their way.  (weeds,  rocks, and other obstacles.) God will do the same thing, if he sees fit.   I read something just before I wrote this that made that even clearer.  
"the judge ignored her for awhile, but eventually she got in his nerves. "I fear neither God nor man," he said to himself, "but this woman bothers me.   I'm going to see she gets justice, for she is wearing me out with her constant coming!"   Luke 18:4-5  Christ told this story so you would understand the need to pray and never give up.   However, remember a "No" is also an answer to prayer." from God Knows Best About Stress by Fun Nun Sister Mary Christelle Macaluso,  RSM, OFN, PhD
So even when the Master Gardener doesn't remove the big old clump of dirt out of my way He is still answering my prayer.  He has a better plan than I do and I need to trust in it. This is so hard at times, but necessary to become stronger and wiser and more fruitful for His world.
A beautifully weeded garden.  Hard to believe it is mine.
Working hard at growing.

A potato plant moving a mountain.

The potato plant after moving the mountain.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The Prayer or Blessing Against Storms

With the news warning our area of some major storms coming our way I thought I would share a prayer for protection against storms that a good friend (MP) shared with me a few years ago.  It has given me comfort during some pretty bad storms since she shared it, and if you know me you know I need it when the weather gets bad.  (This one comes from The Pieta Prayer Book

Now before I go on to the prayer, if you have any outstanding prayers please feel free to share.  I especially love praying prayers that others have had positive experiences with.

Please use the prayers anyway you wish.  Take it or leave it.  Or if you have one you like better share it and I will add it to this blog so others can chose.  

I prayer for your safety and peace.  God bless.

The Prayer or Blessing Against Storms
Jesus Christ, a King of Glory, has come in peace.  God became man, and the Word was made flesh.  Christ was born of a virgin.  Christ suffered.  Christ was crucified.  Christ died.  Christ rose fromt he dead.  Christ ascended into heaven.  Christ conquers.  Christ reigns.  Christ orders.  May Christ protect us from all storms and lightning.  Christ went through their midst in peacde and the word was made flesh.  Christ is with us with Mary.  Flee, you enemy spirits, because the Lion of the Generation of Juda, the Root of David, has won.  Holy God!  Holy Powerful God!  Holy Immortal God!  Have mercy on us.  Amen!  
(This prayer originated in a convent and church in Lisbon, Portugal.  Pope Innocent III, 1198-1216, ordered it published.)

Monday, March 24, 2014

Taking Time to Remember Grandma Dvorak

This showed  up in my Facebook, it really made me think of my Grandma Dvorak.  It's one of those God things since it showed up around the anniversary of her birthday in heaven.  The only reason I remember that it is close to the end of March is.... she wanted to die in March and it wasn't happening and she was starting to get upset.  LOL  OK let me explain that one.  Grandma was a VERY devout Catholic, I don't think she went anywhere without a rosary in her pocket or somewhere near by.  She loved St. Joseph the foster father of Jesus and as Catholics we dedicate the month of March to St. Joseph.  She wanted to die in the month of St. Joseph.  I just love that God granted her final wish and took her home in the month she so desired.

Grandma taught me so much.  She was a classroom teacher but also a silent teacher.  She was the teacher that wanted you to learn something but she wouldn't tell you what you had to figure it out and she rejoiced with you when you did.  She often said you needed to learn one new thing every day before you went to bed.

She taught me to love my heritage.  She was proud of where she came from.  In fact my Dad will tell you he only started speaking English when it was time for him to start school.  They spoke Czech in the house while he was growing up.  She taught me how to polka, waltz and sing songs in Czech.  She even gave me start on stage by giving me a solo, a couple of them.  She taught me a song to The Blessed Virgin Mary and we would go to churches in the area and sing it for special occasions.  The last time I sang it was at her funeral.  (I really think she would be disappointed with me on that one.  I better find it and find somewhere to do it again.)
She taught me how to really love your spouse.  (Silent teaching at it's best.)  Grandpa had health problems for as long as I can remember.  He was mobile and helping Dad on the farm in one memory and the next he was in a wheelchair.  Grandma took care of him all the time.  OK there was a short, and I mean short, stay at the nursing home, but he didn't like it there and she brought him back home and took care of him until he died.  That is true love.  On days that I am struggling with my relationship I just think of the love and laughter they shared and I can carry on.

She taught me how to be a good teacher.  I struggled with school for a time and she would help me work on things during the summer.  We didn't hit it hard but we worked on things for maybe one week during the summer.  The fun ways she found for me to learn only inspired me to find the same fun things for the students in my care.  Also at her wake and funeral I lost count of the people who said, "She was the best teacher."  Not many families who's loved one lives past 90 can say there was a FULL church at their funeral. I CAN!!!  Oh and she taught me chocolate helps boost your brain power.  Yeah we studied with M&M's or some kind of chocolate near by.  No wonder so many people liked her. 

She taught me how to laugh at life and not take things too seriously, unless you have to.  With Grandpa's illness she could have been so negative, but not her!  If something happened, like Grandpa spilling his chew can, she would find a way to laugh about it.  She always had a smile on her face.  I don't remember he being sad.  I know she probably was, but she didn't let it become our burden, it was hers alone.  Man, I miss that smile and laugh.  My uncle laughs that she got the last laugh when she passed away.  The day/night of her wake was a beautiful, sunny, warm day.  That night we sang "On Eagle's Wings", a song she did not want at her funeral (but it was her wake).  The next morning was cold and dreary.  My uncle says she told God to "punish us" with the cold weather for singing that song.  LOL

This is her at our wedding.

Here she is holding two of her Great-Grand babies Reid and Christopher.
The last thing she taught me was how to love God more than anything.  Like I said she had a rosary near by all the time.  She would find God's hand in ANYTHING that happened to her.  She taught me to believe God will take care of everything and ask the Saints for help when you don't know where else to turn.  She taught me which Saints, especially her favorite, would help you and when.  I was even blessed to be baptized on her birthday.  When I started college she even sent me a prayer to help me get through tests.  It was a great help.  

I was so sad when she passed away.  I was 7 months pregnant with Breanna and knew she was a girl.  Grandma was so excited for me. I really couldn't wait for them to meet each other.   I feel like she was meant to help me with Breanna from heaven.  I needed another advocate at the feet of God to help with the trials that are Breanna.  What is really funny is Breanna just came in the room and looked over my shoulder as I was cropping one of these pictures looked at it and laughed her laugh of recognition.  I think she knows who Great-Grandma is and probably sees her often.  Lucky girl.

Long story short.  I've been thinking about her a lot and the post on Facebook was just so timely I had to share.  I am so blessed to have had Grandma as my guide through life and into the next.  I miss her greatly and can't wait to see her again.  If she didn't make it to Heaven I don't stand a chance!

Not a colored photo, but I bet the shirt had purple in it.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Interesting Trip

Well after, what we figure to be, nearly 4 years it was time to make a trip to Minnesota for a new brace for Breanna. This has to be our most interesting trip so far.   We went to church at home and after two weeks of not going to church for Breanna she did fairly well.   (the rest of the family went to Mass the two weeks, it just worked better for her to stay home and to divide and conquer those weeks). We stopped and ate dinner in Sioux City.   After a fairly calm meal we hit the interstate.   In the first few miles we saw a lot of pickups pulling flatbed trailers.   Of course the big question was, I wonder if they are going home empty handed from the historical car auction in Pierce,  NE the day before.  Then we saw the one pictured and the captions flew.   I just hope they have the proper paperwork for the heavy haul. I do like the fact that they think they will be able to move snow with such small equipment. 

A few hours later we found ourselves about 30 minutes from the hotel.   Suddenly the interstate turned into a two lane and found ourselves at a complete stop and in a HUGE line of vehicles.   Tom was worried that our favorite heavy hauler had crashed.   Soon a tow truck came by on the shoulder of the road.   Needless to say that sitting still in the van, when not watching a football game, a little lady was VERY antsy.  Since we were sitting still in the van Tom put it in park.  There is a child safety lock for the sliding doors on the van which was locked.  She came up (she won't keep her seat belt on) and kissed mom and dad.  Somewhere during that she turned off the child lock.  She then sat down and pushed the button to open her door.  Remember we are sitting on the interstate.  Dad and I panicked and managed to get the door closed while Reid held her so she would not jump out.  I'm ready for a new vehicle where the child locks are hidden.    Finally we were able to move and never did see what was really happening ahead. What should have to us 30 minutes took nearly 2 hours.  I do think our guardian angels were at work that night.  We had stopped before the delay and got supper.  Tom decided to park the van and eat instead of driving and eating.  I believe that decision helped us to avoid being the cause of the stop on the interstate.  Thank you angels for protecting us.

OK after we finally got to the hotel we are all tired and just want to get to the room and move around and maybe even get to sleep.  I go into the hotel and get the room key/card.  The whole family followed me in since they needed to use the restroom.  We go up to the room and on the one wall is a huge, how can you miss it, black smear of something.  Maybe mud, but Tom was more worried it may be blood.  Anyway, the boys leave to get our things while Breanna and I check out the rest of the room.  While Tom was down at the desk he stopped and told them what we found in the room.  They said it had been Homecoming that weekend and the opposing team's fans (Iowa State I believe they said, not to name names) had not been real nice.  They would move is and put the room on the list to be cleaned/fixed.  We were happy to be moved.  We unloaded and went to bed.  

The next morning I went to unpack my bag, we each pack our own duffle bag and mine is washable so all the dirty clothes go in it coming home.  I opened a drawer and this is what I found.

I immediately broke into laughter and my family thought I had officially lost it.  We all had a good laugh (but it does make me question unpacking my things into hotel drawers again) and left for the day.  I took the photo and then showed it to the gentleman working the front desk.  He laughed with us again.  His comment, " I know this sounds bad, but that's impressive.  I will make sure housekeeping takes care of it."  It was gone by the time we came back, but the photo will forever live on.  I just hope Reid doesn't think he needs to top that on any trips he takes.

One thing we did figure out was, we were somewhere on the Minnesota State campus.  Here's a photo of the stadium from the front of the hotel.

We drove and walked around there and we couldn't tell you where the campus began or ended.  We did notice though that the students we saw were all very nicely dressed.  I did not see any different colored hair or any goth-like dress.  I was very impressed.  

The best part was this hotel was maybe 8 blocks away from the hospital.  Kind of missed the pool, but it was good to be together as a family.  We were there for two more days, but I will save that for later, not as exciting though sorry,

Thursday, August 8, 2013

A Penny For My Thoughts

Maybe I should start out saying that this post is not free....It cost you a penny.  OK so it cost you a click, that's about all it will be worth anyway.  :)

I have always bent over to pick up a penny or any coin I see on the ground.  But since I read the poem Pennies From Heaven I look at that simple process different.  (If you are not familiar with the poem click here.)

One day, last year, a student came in from recess with a penny they had found on the playground.  I started telling them the story and then looked it up on line.  There I found the  website I shared above and along with it came the short story that inspired the poem.  

Since researching this story further I have really taken note of the pennies I have found.  One that particularly stands out is on I found in my van when I opened one of the sliding back doors to let my daughter out after a really bad day in church and there was one in the middle of the door.  Before this I was standing outside church with her, both of us in tears, and me crying out (silently) that God would send some strength and help.  I have lost so many really close, loving people in my life that I know I have many Saints watching over me. (I will explain why I call them Saints another time.) That penny, to me, was an answer to my prayer.  I just needed that small reminder that I NEVER am alone.  

I have also noticed even more of a drive to walk away from some of the pennies I find on the ground.  It's as if someone is telling me, "That is not meant for you."  I know I'm strange that way, but that is how I feel sometimes.  

Sometimes I even leave it lay hoping that it will help make someone else's day.

Most importantly, anytime I find one I make sure to say a quick thank you to who ever may have sent me that penny.  But most importantly it always, always puts a smile on my face.

Now do I feel that this is strange, yeah sometimes.  But I think we all need to believe in something, even if it is a bit strange.  Football players and even whole teams have things they do because it helps them get through the game.  I say if what helps you get through doesn't get in the way of living life, go for it.  Let's face it picking up pennies doesn't inter fer with anything, unless you are power walking then it better be a dime so you can turn on it.  :)  But all kidding aside, I don't just look for the physical pennies to help me get through trying times, there are other pennies that appear as well.  I know as long as I believe and look with the eyes of faith the pennies will fall where and how they will.  It is my job to watch for them and not just step over them.  After all the saying is "God will provide" and boy does He!!