Ironic

  

After a very eventful trip to Walmart the other night I did a lot of reflecting.  I'm going to share three of the awful experiences I've had having a daughter with a handicap.  I want you to see if you notice what I noticed.  (Don't worry I will share my reflections at the end.)

     The first one that comes to mind is.  About 4 years ago already I grabbed Breanna from daycare and went to Yankton to do my weekly grocery shopping.  It had been a long day in the classroom and she had had long day as well.  Along with something I figured out on another trip, but that doesn't weigh into the story.  I was trying to get through Walmart as fast as I could and Breanna was having a fit, screaming about something in the cart.  I was pushing her through the store getting stressed myself and her screams were getting louder and louder.  Suddenly a woman on one of the store's electric carts, wheels over looks Breanna in the eyes and says, "What the he## is  your problem."  In an action that would make my Mother proud, I pushed Breanna away from the lady and didn't say anything.  (If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.)

     The second incident I want to share with you actually happened at McDonald's.  Tom, Breanna and I were in McDonald's trying to get her through a meal IN the store rather than our van.  She was doing really well and the store was full of elderly men and women.  When Breanna finished she started signing "all done" and the screaming soon followed when we didn't leave fast enough.  Tom and I were trying to eat as fast as we could and get Breanna out of the store.  These two elderly women started whispering and looking at us.  It didn't take me long to realize they were talking about us.  Soon their comments got louder so I could hear them.  By now I had gotten my back bone and looked at them and calmly explained she has Autism and this is her way of telling us she is finished and we need to leave.  We then finished our meals and left.

     The last incident happened just this week.  Once again we were in Walmart, our home away from home, and it had been a long day for everyone again.  Breanna was once again upset, still haven't figured out why, and screamed through the store.  (Let me explain that I have finally led myself to believe that it is a BIG store so her screaming only bothers a few people close to us.  LOL)  I went to check out and she LOVES putting her hands on the belt that carries our items to the cashier.  This cashier was a gentleman who was sitting on a chair as he rang us up.  He was finished totaling my bill and shut the belt off.  Breanna has watched how this is done enough that she knows how to turn it on herself.  Most cashiers will just leave it on and finish with us then go on.  Not this gentleman, he turned it off.  She turned it on.  He turned it off and glared at her.  She turned it on and smiled.  He turned it off and I thought he was going to slap her hand, but he didn't.  I told her to sit down in her chair and wait for mom to finish, which she politely did.

     Have you figured out what is alike in all these stories?  Upon reflection I realized that all those who showed disgust at Breanna were themselves handicapped.  Ironic isn't it?  You would think that the people who suffer hardships themselves would be the most compassionate, most understanding, most patient.  I'm not finding that to be the case.  I'm not an expert at reading people, but can't help but wonder if there is some anger within them because of their own disability that they don't feel sympathy toward others with problems.  (Does that make sense?)  I've even seen teachers who have handicapped children be the least compassionate to handicapped students.  I can't put my finger on why, and hope that I'm not one of those people.  I pray that my experiences with Breanna have softened me to be the compassionate, loving, patient person that I would hope others with my experience would be.  It frustrating enough to not be able to finish things in public due to melt downs, I really hate having to worry about what others are thinking.  It can get one down if you let it.  It's just crazy.

     I just had to share what I've noticed.  I pray the whole world won't be like this to my family, especially my children.  I pray that Breanna and Reid will grow up to be more understanding and patient with others.  I pray that some how these three people will find a softening in their heart to be more understanding, more compassionate, more gentle.  God be with all of them and all of you.