tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90248080794074045022024-02-07T15:37:49.154-08:00Teresa's Times of Thankfulness and TrialsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-11286780196348710352016-08-02T13:36:00.000-07:002016-08-02T13:40:51.465-07:00H+C=true inspiring love<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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These are my parents, Herman and Clara. I am reading a book called The Unveiled Wife with a group of people on Facebook. We are only on chapter 2 but it has gotten me thinking about this wonderful couple. </div>
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One of the questions to reflect on for that chapter is "In what ways has your parents' relationship shaped your character?" The other one that got me thinking about them was, "What behaviors-both good and bad- do you have that you recognize as by-products of your childhood?"</div>
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First of all, my parents had the best marriage I could ever have the honor of looking up to. As I reflect on this they had the best examples as well, no wonder they had it so together. </div>
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Mom and Dad were married July 30, 1966 and their marriage was inspirational from day one. They were ALWAYS together. They went to so many church dinners etc up until Dad couldn't transfer Mom as easy anymore. I don't ever remember them going to functions separately. I even remember Dad telling Mom, "I really want to go to (some function) but you aren't going with me so I don't really want to go." Dad often didn't go somewhere because he wanted mom to go along and she couldn't or wasn't invited. I'm that way now too. I don't like to go somewhere without Tom. Although I do enjoy being alone from time to time. LOL</div>
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They worked side-by-side on the farm. If we were working on the farm together all day (often baling hay) dad would take us out to eat that night. "Mom worked hard for/with me all day she deserves the time off." He didn't always give a gift for special occasions, but he gave her little gifts and showed his appreciation often.</div>
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I always enjoyed watching them dance together. They moved as one unit. Dad was much taller than Mom and I don't ever remember them stepping on each other's toes. What I wouldn't do to watch them glide across the floor just one more time.</div>
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I remember in November of 2014 Dad had to go to the hospital for his heart. (His pacemaker had shocked him in July and he didn't do anything about it. Didn't tell anyone but my one brother, who thought it was no big deal.) We stopped at the nursing home to tell mom what was going on. She was in tears. I left the room to give them some time. When dad got out of the hospital he didn't go directly to her at the home, but she knew he was home and ok. I took him to the home a few days later. When we walked in she was napping. When she opened her eyes it was like young lovers looking at each other. I felt like a third wheel. LOL</div>
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That look happened a lot between them. </div>
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When we were all called to the Nursing Home because the end was near for mom he didn't want to leave the room. We had a hard time convincing him that she would be ok. I sat with the two of them one day during that time. Dad sat by her bed, head in his hands, and prayed. He kept touching her and whispering to her. I took a photo of this but it doesn't even begin to show the emotion that I could feel in that room. (I have only shared that photo with one person because I feel it is so personal.) Mom left us on Febr. 6, 2015. Dad would never be quite the same.</div>
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I almost forgot to include Dad's last act of love for Mom. As we were planning the funeral with the director Dad looked at him with tears in his eyes and asked if he could push mom in and out of church one last time. He had been pushing her in the wheelchair for a few years and felt the need to push her one more time. He also asked if he could put something in the casket with her. The mortician agreed to both requests. Right before they closed the casket dad put a small Snicker bar in mom's hands. With all the strength he could bring to the surface during the time of his greatest sorrow he pushed the casket up the aisle of the church (which mind you is no small church) before the Mass and back out of church for his one last act of love. The sight alone brought many people to tears.</div>
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Shortly after Mom died Dad was in the hospital. He kept telling us something wasn't right. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with him. They even told my brother, "there is such a thing as a broken heart." He insisted he was good enough to be at home, but we were worried. We tried to convince him to go to Assisted Living, but he just couldn't do it. In July of 2015 he fell and fractured his pelvis. Then he had no choice. In September we celebrated his 79th birthday. It was a beautiful day with his brother and sisters there. On December 4 he joined mom in heaven. I truly believe that he couldn't/wouldn't celebrate Christmas without mom. </div>
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As for the by products of their love, I hope I'm living with even half the dedication and love of my husband that they had for each other. Dad did have a bad habit of clamming up or suddenly being quiet when he felt he wasn't being heard or getting his way. I've now been told I do the same thing. So I guess that's something I need to work on.</div>
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All I know is that I hope when I'm gone people will be saying the beautiful things about my marriage that people have been saying about my parents. When a person who only knew them for a couple months says, "I can only dream and hope that my marriage is as strong as theirs after 49 years." </div>
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They weren't here on earth to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary about a week ago, but we gathered anyway and celebrated for them. Yes...their love continues.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-64594797167238740582016-04-23T07:07:00.000-07:002016-04-23T07:07:25.935-07:00Be Careful What You Say<span style="font-size: large;">Before I officially start this blog let me just say a couple things: </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1. IF you are not religious or like reading religious things STOP now! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. I know the person did not mean to hurt my feelings, rather she meant to help. I am NOT mad at her and know she meant well. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. This may be long. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. This is actually the second time I am writing this. I started on my phone and accidentally erased the whole thing. I know, I know save. I will do that right now. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am usually not one to get offended easily and actually it took me a couple days to process what happened and come to terms with what happened. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am always looking to expand my religion and what I believe and why. I enjoy talking with people about my faith (can you tell). I live like my Grandmother did..."never go to bed without learning something new". </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was talking with a lady the other day about Breanna and how she has strengthened my faith. I mean some times that's all I have to help me get through the day/hour/minute/second. Some days I am praying every hour/minute/second. I have to believe God has a plan and I have to trust in that plan.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was telling her that I have often thought of taking Breanna to a healing Mass. She asked me where I was thinking of taking her. I told her a town nearby., but I was worried about taking her to a different church. After all she has issues in our church going there every weekend. This lady recommended a priest who is actually located in a parish near my hometown. This was very interesting to me. I may look into that more.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Now here is where I was challenged. Let me just say once again she didn't mean anything by her comments, but they really threw me for a loop. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She told me that I should have Breanna prayed over. She also told me we should have a generational healing done. God does not make people handicapped, we do it by our sins or the sins of our ancestors. I didn't know what to say.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It has taken me years to make myself believe Breanna is not the way she is because of something I did. Now here is this person telling me it might be my fault. Talk about one step forward and two steps back.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Now I believe God has been preparing me for Breanna for a long time. Here are my reasons. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1. I was going to go to college and be a music teacher. My band teacher talked me out of it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. I was in college for Elementary Education only. A Special Education instructor came and in told us about being a Special Education teacher and I added that major. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. I did A LOT of respite care for many children with many different handicaps. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. Most of my teaching career has been Special Education. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">All those experiences gave me many different ideas and methods that I can use with Breanna now.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have thought about this conversation for a while now. I know she didn't mean to upset me. She is a person I admire and look up to. Her ideas and belief are what I would love to have and I love to learn from.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">To me Breanna is not a curse or someone God is punishing me with. Ok on bad days I may feel a bit different but I am only human. She blesses me in so many ways that it's hard to explain. I look to Breanna for an example of unconditional love. She doesn't care that you just yelled at her for breaking your favorite item she will give you and smile and the best hug in the world. She has the most awesome smile that just melts the hardest heart. Her hugs are the deepest most heartfelt hugs you can ever experience. Because of her I am more patient, and understanding of others. You can't see everyone's burdens or trials be nice anyway. Because of her I feel I am a better person. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I also see how she affects others. Especially her dad and brother. I don't know if I would have seen the patience and understanding those two can show without her. They both love her and I know she loves them. She gets soooo excited when they come home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">She is a blessing, not a curse. While I do believe having her prayed over and for is helpful I do not believe that her condition is due to so sin of someone else. God doesn't punish, I know some of you would say there are examples in the bible of him punishing someone. Yes but look how bad those offenses were and he gave them signs to change their ways. God will help me, like He always has. Carrying me if He needs to. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here is what I want you to take from this. Please be very careful what you say to different people. Especially to someone who is struggling with their life or situation already. Make sure what you say is supportive and its not going to hurt them in some way. Again I am not hurt and I am probably stronger because of this encounter. It made me look at my faith and what I believe closer. It made me write this to share with all of you. As the saying goes....God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-62020406089307238952015-04-08T08:54:00.002-07:002015-04-08T08:54:55.655-07:00Memories of Mom Clara (Reisdorff) DvorakThis blog has been rolling around in my brain for two + months now and I think that today, Mom's 81st birthday of human life and 1st birthday in heaven, it is time to make myself sit down and do this reflecting that needs to be done.<br />
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This beautiful baby never lost that beautiful smile. The last time I saw her alive she gifted me with one. I will NEVER forget that. I only really remember her crying one time. She always looked for the bright side of anything. She is the reason that all of us find humor in anything. In fact she would be the first to tell you when she married she went from a car to a card. (Clara Caroline Agnes Reisdorff CCAR to Clara Caroline Agnes Reisdorff Dvorak CCARD) Don't get me wrong she was serious when the situation called for seriousness. But when things got too serious when it didn't need to be she was the first to find something to make us smile. We did not go through many band aides growing up because if we came with a little cut she would say something to the effect of, "maybe we should cut the whole limb off." She was the rock in the family and the one we all went to for advice first. I'm sure it drove dad nuts, but she was always there when we came home and needed to vent. She was a stay-at-home mom until my brothers were in Junior High or High School. I always came home to mom.</div>
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She was our protector and now I find myself doing a lot of the same things to/for my children she did for me. We had a longer driveway (with a curve in it) and she would walk us or drive us down the lane to the bus every day. She didn't like the idea of us standing on the end of the driveway where she couldn't see us. I don't know if she continued it for my brothers through high school or not, but it was something she did for me. </div>
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She shared her love for animals with us. There wasn't a pet we didn't have, raccoon, pigs, lambs, sheep, chickens, ducks, cats, dogs, rabbits and even a pet pigeon that we rescued from the cats (more than once). She showed us how to love unconditionally through her caring for the animals especially when they were sick or injured. We often had a lamb or calf in the house to warm up and nurse back to health. She taught us so much, but I still wish I would have paid attention more, about life and death. We buried favorite pets, had mini funerals etc. Of course the older we got the less that was necessary and she seemed to know just when the time was to quite things and move on to the next stage in life. </div>
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She was an EXCELLENT cook. She always had a warm meal ready for us at noon and 6pm, or when we came in from working outside. I still don't know how she managed to get a balanced meal ready so quickly all the time. She never did share that secret. She made the best kolaches and rolls. In the last couple years we have ordered them but the extra love she put in them is missing. When I went off to college and beyond she would make my favorite meal or food item. (Usually macaroni with tomatoes. I've tried to make it SEVERAL times but it never tasted like hers.) She took amazing care of us. That extra love and compassion made us the people we are today.</div>
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She loved music. Of course we didn't know what she played until we were choosing what we wanted to play in school. She never forced us to do anything (OK we felt like she was when we had to practice, practice, practice). I remember not wanting to practice piano and she would say you can practice or.... and the or was usually horrible in our eyes. She always encouraged us to do our best. If we didn't do well at something she would ask, "Do you think you did your best? That's all that matters." I still am amazed at the HOURS she spent taking us to piano lessons, practices of all sorts, games without a complaint. She was all about equality too. In fact when Paul and Roger were in Junior High and High School and they had a basketball game on the same day at the same time she didn't go to either one. She didn't want to show any kind of favouritism between us. She even kept track of what she spent on each of our weddings. She then gave us the difference at Christmas following the last wedding to make it "even". We all knew we were loved and no one child more than another. She was AMAZING.</div>
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But above all the things she gave us, that is the most important and impacting is her gift of faith. No matter what Dad and her knelt down (while they could) and prayed together. There were many nights that I waited outside their bedroom to talk to them because they were in the middle of prayer. They prayed for everyone and everything. We prayed the rosary as a family every night during Lent. You knew she was worried about something when she had the rosary in her hands. One night it was snowing and dad called he was coming home from town. She told him to stay in town for the night and he insisted on trying to get home. (This was before cell phones) She picked up the rosary and paced the house praying until he called that he was stuck and staying the night at someone's house. They did their night prayers over the phone that night. The day my brother got his fingers pinched of in the baler we prayed all the way to the hospital and during the surgery. If there was a bad storm outside she lit a blessed candle and we all prayed. She ALWAYS turned to prayer when she didn't know what else to do. </div>
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Her favorite saint was St. Gerard. She turned to him when she was having problems having another child. During the 5 years between my brother and I she prayed to him A LOT! That is why my brother's middle name is Gerard. She gave me a medal and prayer card for him when I was having problems too. She always ended every conversation with God bless you! </div>
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She was a silent sufferer. I don't ever remember her complaining about anything hurting, or not feeling well. Toward the end of her life on earth I'm sure she was in some pain, but you never knew. I'm sure she wanted to go home to heaven, but she never said it to me. Maybe she didn't want me to worry since I live 2 hours away, but I never heard her complain. She didn't burden others with her problems. But she was always there to try and help you with yours and be your Simon the Cyrene and help you carry your cross. She was on the prayer chain for the church. When a call came for someone in need of prayer she would stop what she was doing, go in her prayer book and find the appropriate prayer and pray it right there. She was the perfect example of a faithful warrior. In my opinion, if she didn't go right through the gates of heaven (keep in mind she received Last Rights four times in the last week of her life which is another story all it's own) then I don't think I stand a chance.</div>
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I miss her like crazy. I called dad the other day and he didn't answer the phone and the answering machine was her voice yet, I couldn't leave a message. (I want to go there and copy it so I can hear her voice anytime I want.) I know she is in a better place and I know that she is looking on me right now with tears flowing down my face and thinking how crazy I am, but I'm pretty selfish and I know it. I am the luckiest girl in the world because I had the best mom anyone could hope for. I lived with a person who was the best example of unconditional love and showed me how to love others as God loves us. I hope and pray that I am half the person she was. I know I struggle daily and I don't ask myself what would Jesus do, I ask what would Mom do? She was my living saint. I pray that she is in heaven and I bet she is begging God to give only the best to her children and grandchildren. She wouldn't know what else to do, she never did sit still.</div>
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Happy 1st Birthday in heaven, don't get too messy with your cake. Until I see you in heaven (at least I hope I make it there) I love you bushels and bushels, and barrels and barrels, and heaps and heaps, and lots and lots, and miles and miles. God bless you!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-31283261923087017732014-10-12T11:57:00.001-07:002014-10-12T11:57:55.942-07:00Never a Dull Trip<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Today B and I embarked on an adventure. Ok so it started out as just a trip to Lincoln, NE for her six month brace check. Sounds simple right? How quick you forget NOTHING is simple when Missy B is involved.</div>
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We started out bright and early this morning. I wanted to be on the road by 5:30 (we had an 8:30 appointment) but when you have to pack, check the vehicle, wake a girl, dress a girl, shower and get yourself ready, and not necessarily in that order, things don't always go the way you hoped. So our adventure started at 6:15 instead. Yes this meant I was going to be late already. Not a huge deal, but a deal none the less. After we counted kittens to make sure we didn't have any hitch hikers we were on our way.</div>
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Drove until we reached Columbus and then decided a stretch break/bathroom break was necessary. I bought myself some Clarkson Bakery Kolaches and something for both of us to drink. There was a sippy cup with a straw in the van so I put some pop in it for B. (Let me note: I DO know that this can be a disaster but so can a whole bottle of pop being turned upside down while a girl giggles. Yep been there done both.) Off we were again. </div>
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After about 15 minutes or so of driving I hear giggles from the back seat. I look in the rear view mirror and I see Mt. Diet Coke raising up from between the seats. "I ain't got time for this!" I thank God that it is DIET coke and won't leave a huge sticky mess everywhere and just keep driving, just keep driving.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Diet Coke Splatter on the area where the DVD player is.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another photo of the Diet Coke lava.<br /></td></tr>
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We continue on to Lincoln pretty much incident free. (I'm sure something probably happened but my brain blocked it out to protect itself.)<div>
We could not find parking on the first level of the parking garage and I had to go up to 2nd floor. Now I really don't like parking garages (too much freedom and fresh air growing up I guess) and really hate when I have to go up levels. The drive down isn't much more enjoyable either. But this was different than what we usually do.</div>
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We go to get on the elevator and a little lady is now questioning where we are and what we may be doing here. It really hit her when we got off at the main level and began walking into the hospital. She has NEVER refused to walk into this building before and I had to put on the Autism Mom detective hat and think why now? I finally concluded that every hospital has the same smell (basically) and she must be scared there is going to be a repeat of the "break fluid" incident which meant she was poked every 4 hours. She is now throwing herself on the floor, screaming and crawling slowly toward me. I knew if I tried to pull her it would make it worse so I was slowly walking down the hall and she was coming closer as she doesn't want to loose mom here. </div>
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God sent us an angle at this point in the form of Wendy one of the Ortho people we work with on B's brace. She went over to B, who looked up and smiled at her, and talked to B. She was able to get B up off the floor and walk down the hall holding both of our hands. This was such a lifesaver. We both assured her there would be no pokes on this visit. Wendy needed to go help another patient and left us promising B a huge hug if she was good the rest of the visit. (She did follow through!)</div>
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We then went and checked in for our visit. B was cooperative by this point because she new this place and this routine. Then it was time for x-ray and we fell to pieces again.</div>
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First they had to take us to a different area in the hospital for x-ray than B was use to. (Let's face it we do this every 6 months so she knows how this works. In fact it seems like we get a new Shriner to escort us every time, and when I say new I don't just mean to us I mean they have never done this before so we lead him.)</div>
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Now we are waiting in a tiny waiting room with 3 other patients, their Shriner and their parent or parents. B was very uncomfortable. We get called back for the x-rays and I'm thinking this is getting better now.</div>
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Oops spoke too soon. She did not want to cooperate. She stepped up on the stand like this was going to be ok and then turned into a HUGE rag doll. After struggling to get her to stand again they decide I need a lead vest. I'm thinking, "I don't care let's just get this done!!!" They gown me up and another helper, go to take the x-ray and THE MACHINE DOESN'T WORK!!!!! Ok reset the machine, let's try it again. NOPE!!!! After 4 reposing/resetting/mom ready to scream-at-the-top-of-her-lungs attempts for an x-ray they ask us to step outside and wait in the hall while they try to figure it out.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Yj1VU9Y5O2OzBLf3QbTBku5n4Z8b_kDL1kdt3YlZNvcRQDpkk2G0lA6acXlT_BaZoPWzGL84gpCAx3haMKUZZ-4eYDpAfn-pdGAUqmt7rMJxAiR-ifC3_jasIOqzjJ7auHDYBkxtNKo/s1600/20141011_103830.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Yj1VU9Y5O2OzBLf3QbTBku5n4Z8b_kDL1kdt3YlZNvcRQDpkk2G0lA6acXlT_BaZoPWzGL84gpCAx3haMKUZZ-4eYDpAfn-pdGAUqmt7rMJxAiR-ifC3_jasIOqzjJ7auHDYBkxtNKo/s1600/20141011_103830.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thank goodness for ipads and Jessie to get through all this.</td></tr>
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So we are now sitting in the hall way for about 5 to 10 minutes. No one is going in or out of the room, I can hear them talking in there, and other patients are in and out of the other x-ray rooms nearby. B is now starting to scream, which really echoes in hospital hallways BTW, and I'm about reduced to a puddle of tears. Finally someone comes and says they have the machines ready and running in the area we usually go to they are going to take us over there. REALLY!!!!! Gather all our stuff (almost forgot B's shoes) and off to where we usually go.<br />There we are pretty much taken right back and the x-ray is done in one shot! (She knows what to do here.)<br />
Now we wait in the lobby with all the others to see the Doctor. This was only about 10 minutes or so. I really don't know as she decided it was time for a pants change and that seems to take forever anyway. LOL<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpr4d9SphyphenhyphenAhNwuVoxCm5F3lGdPUM8lsajUcNm2xMM7JR8y0HAKLXX9UfvQUNLcS4lbrD6EHZWBC8NPed2TLvIwgyZZcYZFTTKd8UtTrxhrTrIzBfz8uoq6PU6XgvhlAq5qCPeOdssauk/s1600/20141011_111306.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpr4d9SphyphenhyphenAhNwuVoxCm5F3lGdPUM8lsajUcNm2xMM7JR8y0HAKLXX9UfvQUNLcS4lbrD6EHZWBC8NPed2TLvIwgyZZcYZFTTKd8UtTrxhrTrIzBfz8uoq6PU6XgvhlAq5qCPeOdssauk/s1600/20141011_111306.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Clown in training.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I wish she would have turned around, she was really cute, but B wanted nothing to do with her.</td></tr>
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We now are taken to a room to wait for the doctor. They tell me it's Dr. Guidera and I'm thinking yeah right. Dr. Guidera is the very first Doctor we dealt with in Minneapolis. He is the doctor that looked us in the eyes, oh so long ago, and told us we would be running after her in the halls someday. He holds a very special place in our hearts. But we were told he moved to Florida. Ends up he was there, I asked another person about it and they told me he likes to meet them, when he can, at out reach clinics. It was WONDERFUL to see him again.<br /><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCedRKmPVFGIslJN2B6Fz35HlJIc851vTfwSzq4xIchcGYwBZa42bjI3k9_hnqRRFR1AS2Tuwa1jpeCrkuo-5niKgh5m60BJln8Y1S6R1dDzDC4bdG9cb5SXwLAHwXCpuEz0qiC_vTEU8/s1600/20141011_112801.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCedRKmPVFGIslJN2B6Fz35HlJIc851vTfwSzq4xIchcGYwBZa42bjI3k9_hnqRRFR1AS2Tuwa1jpeCrkuo-5niKgh5m60BJln8Y1S6R1dDzDC4bdG9cb5SXwLAHwXCpuEz0qiC_vTEU8/s1600/20141011_112801.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was the stool in the room we waited to see the doctor in. All I could think of was Twilight.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhao8NQKk96A7SzcAtw7-qAKkwsl52sYA8mCY49XAZjUGF0o8OQpt5j2Y-EoiYprrwrLB2CkYJK1XY9b6aqV_ymT4fYaEewc4s4evSSvUknBfSY0MGkN1rgDBBv6rLO7pvjBFYVUUST5iM/s1600/20141011_114806.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhao8NQKk96A7SzcAtw7-qAKkwsl52sYA8mCY49XAZjUGF0o8OQpt5j2Y-EoiYprrwrLB2CkYJK1XY9b6aqV_ymT4fYaEewc4s4evSSvUknBfSY0MGkN1rgDBBv6rLO7pvjBFYVUUST5iM/s1600/20141011_114806.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Once again the iPad was a lifesaver!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I tried to find the last x-ray so you could see the difference, but no luck.</td></tr>
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The doctor did give us some good news (the one bright spot in the day). Making sure her brace is tight made all the difference. Last time the doctor (a different one) was starting to talk surgery as the curves were measuring over 30 degrees each in the brace. This time we were at 17 degrees and 20 degrees much better and no more talk of surgery!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!<br />
We also saw Wendy and Tim who thought the brace looked good, gave us a few more pointers on wearing it and taking care of it. Also took her insert from one shoe so they could build it up as it was wearing out already.<br />
We LOVE our Shriners.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She wore herself out! (BTW this is very unusual. She hardly ever sleeps in a vehicle or during the day even.)</td></tr>
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On the way home I decided to take a break in David City and visit the cemetery where my grandparents and uncle are buried. I did not realize that Grandpa passed away so close to my Birthday. I really need to make note of these dates better. </div>
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I also stopped at my cousin's house (Deb Dinkelman). My other cousin Dan's daughter was home visiting after being in Germany in the service for a number of years. I was able to meet her husband Kenny and see their daughter Bailey again. Her life is so blessed and I was honored to spend some time with all of them. </div>
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Breanna did not want to get out of the van at her house (a different place than she was use to again). It wasn't too cold or hot and I kept looking out the window checking on her. When I got in the van I could smell something (perfume) and could not place the smell. I knew it was something I had smelled before, but could not place it. But we were on our way and I just wanted to get home at this point.</div>
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Just after we went through Columbus B hands me a diaper. She wanted to be changed. I told her we would stop in the next town. So in Humphrey I stopped to change her pants. There I discovered the source of the odor. She had found (who knows where) a very small, thank goodness, bottle of Polo. Let me tell you it smells WAY better on the men in my house than on my van. Also, due to a "recall" on the switch to the vent windows of the van they are disabled and I couldn't open a window to air it out a bit. I'm just glad it wasn't a bigger bottle or a bottle of something that I couldn't stand. </div>
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As I said this may not be all that happened, but my brain may have blocked out some things to protect my sanity. It just seems that when it rains it pours or in my case floods.</div>
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When we leave the Shriners they always have us do an exit survey. I told them I would pass this time. They were a bit concerned, but I assured them that all the things I had issues with were things they didn't have any control over. (Mostly the x-ray equipment) I didn't want my issues to be reflected as anything they did or didn't do. All I can do is pray next time will be better.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-14264207861341923522014-10-05T10:24:00.001-07:002014-10-05T10:24:27.123-07:00I Am So Proud!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reid<br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdiI76SPOiN8xnxm3UxtWdLOVXVr2H0lUaBaehfffkNqTldPEXwAgS68xvosLbA_YklYtnbxZsIz-0EkeDxyIm0fnSKQTa7uV7Iv14IMLIq578PqsjmMDrKcvmHtFHmYv11xjWYIa3MvM/s1600/IMG_3596.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdiI76SPOiN8xnxm3UxtWdLOVXVr2H0lUaBaehfffkNqTldPEXwAgS68xvosLbA_YklYtnbxZsIz-0EkeDxyIm0fnSKQTa7uV7Iv14IMLIq578PqsjmMDrKcvmHtFHmYv11xjWYIa3MvM/s1600/IMG_3596.JPG" height="320" title="Breanna" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm so sorry if you don't want to read something sappy and a mother bragging, please go to a different blog. I just hope that some day my not-so-little-anymore man and not-so-baby-anymore baby-girl will read this and realize how proud they have made me to this point and I'm sure beyond.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When I first held each of them my brain could not handle nor could my dreams ever be big enough to even touch what has happened and continues to happen on a daily basis with these two.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let me start with my not-so-little-anymore man. Last night he became, what I would consider, an adult in the Catholic Church. Last night, looking through tears, I watched my little boy be confirmed. </span></div>
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It was beautiful. I really LOVE how the bishop smiled at him. (He did it with every child, but it meant a lot to this mom.) I am so proud of the fine young man that God has blessed me with. Now I'm not saying my son is a saint, and he tests my ability to ever become one sometimes too, but when I have others tell me what a fine, kind, caring young man he is I want to melt into a puddle. I have prayed every day, since I found out God was gifting us with a child, that my child would be kind, and caring. God has defiantly heard that prayer. I know we have a long way to go, but I know we are on the right track.</div>
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I am also blessed that I don't really need to worry about his grades. God gave him a very gifted brain, when it wants to be. LOL I wish I would have been able to get the grades this young man does. He needs to work a bit, but for the most part things come very easy to him. I know I let my guard down too often on this front with him, but I rest assured he will correct what needs to be quickly. </div>
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Lastly I am so blessed that he loves his little sister as much as he does. It doesn't always show, especially when she breaks his favorite thing or runs off with his DS, but it shows when needed the most. Every time I have been concerned about Breanna's health or we have had to run her to the Doctor in an emergency he has shown such love and compassion for her I could burst with pride. I know if something happens to me he will be right there to take my place and watch out for her.</div>
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Reid, thank you for being the best son I could have ever asked for! You don't know how many times my heart expands with pride for you! You are everything I have ever asked for or dreamed of in a son! Please know that I love you and am VERY proud to call you my son!!!</div>
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The other person in my house that I am sooooo proud of is Missy B!!! Even though she has not met as many milestones as her brother she has overcome soooo many obstacles I don't know where to start.</div>
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Let me just encompass all of them by saying....I am so proud she has figured out her own way to let me know some of the things she needs/wants. She will bring me what she wants to eat or drink. It breaks my heart to tell her no, but I don't want her to learn she will get everything she wants.</div>
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She amazes me with her ability to know who will accept her and who will turn her away. She is also quite funny when she sees someone outside of the normal environment she sees them in it will throw her off a bit, but she soon is smothering them with hugs and kisses. I soooo enjoy watching her grow and learn. </div>
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I really love seeing her learn new things. She is amazing with how she overcomes the things that get in her way.</div>
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I am so proud she so somewhat independent. I am proud that she is mobile and can be (kind-of) trusted with some freedoms. I love that is so soooo free with hugs and kisses! I can't wait to see what God has in store for her!!</div>
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I am so proud to call these two my children. God has given me a blessing that I will always be thankful for and never take for granted. I am praying that they continue to grow in faith and knowledge every day. </div>
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I am a very emotional person and when you ask me about my children I may have tears in my eyes, but they are tears of pride! I will admit I cried last night and will definitely cry at whatever the next big milestone is for either of my children. Just have a box of Kleenex handy for me the day that Missy B makes her first communion. Heck have a whole CASE for me that day. That is my next big step with her and I will fight with all my might to make that happen! (Darn it I'm starting already!! LOL)</div>
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I can't end this without at least mentioning that I have one other child I am proud of. That is my miscarried child Danny Chris. I am so proud that God gave me the blessing of bringing a soul to life even if I never got to hold, or kiss Danny. I know that Danny is helping his/her brother and sister more in heaven than they ever could have here on earth. I know that Danny is who is praying the hardest for his/her mommy and daddy to have enough strength, patients and faith to take care of his/her siblings. Thank you Danny and I am proud of you as well. You get to see God, Jesus and Mary every day. Be ready to introduce me to them when I get there too.</div>
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God please bless all my children with strength for their days, peace for their nights and faith in You to get them through everything!!!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-23644395097088092802014-09-14T14:58:00.000-07:002014-09-14T14:58:01.401-07:00Growing in the Lord <div dir="ltr">
I've been meaning to work on this blog for sometime now. OK since Spring if you must know. That's pretty obvious if you look at the photos I have included. <br />
Every spring I am amazed at how God takes our dark, dry (usually) earth and turns it, in what seems like overnight, a lush carpet of green and other colors.
Every year it fascinates me more and more. This year it had a little help in that I tried to control some of the green by planting a garden. I had some help, I don't know that it would have all gotten done if I didn't. But it was tilled and seeded and I waited for the green while my mouth watered thinking of the wonderful flavorful produce it would provide. <br />
I tried to control the weeds, and did a fairly good job at first, and was in awe of the changes I kept seeing every time I went out there. The most impressive part was just how hard some of the seeds had to work to become the fruitful plants I ended up with. Some of those poor little plants had to move mountains to get to the point of producing fruit. <br />
They worked so hard but you know what? The plants that had the hardest time breaking through the ground were the strongest most productive plants out there. <br />
The ones that just popped up and grew with no mountains in their way were not as strong or productive. <br />
This reminded me a lot of my life. I struggled through many phases growing up. I wasn't the most popular person in the world. At the time it in really struggled with who I was and who I was meant to be. Often times I let that get in the way of really enjoying life. Oh not many people knew of this struggle, I did a good job of keeping the weight of it to myself. <br />
But now I see that struggle helped shape me into the person I am today. I'm stronger, wiser and I hope more fruitful because of it. <br />
Just like the plants struggling to break through the ground I had to have a mountain in my way so that I could come out better on the other side. <br />
Did I do this struggle alone? Sometimes it felt like it. I know now, more than I did then, that my parents always had my back. They gave me the proverbial food, water and just enough space for me to learn what I needed each step of the way. I may have pushed them aside and said I didn't need them. But just like a master gardener they knew when to "leave it alone" so it could make me stronger. <br />
The other thing I had on my side was a strong faith, a seed planted by those master gardeners too, that everything would be OK and God was there all the time. I knew that when the burden was getting too heavy I could turn to God and ask for help. Now my plants in the garden can't ask me for help but I can see and remove things that are in their way. (weeds, rocks, and other obstacles.) God will do the same thing, if he sees fit. I read something just before I wrote this that made that even clearer. <br />
"the judge ignored her for awhile, but eventually she got in his nerves. "I fear neither God nor man," he said to himself, "but this woman bothers me. I'm going to see she gets justice, for she is wearing me out with her constant coming!" Luke 18:4-5 Christ told this story so you would understand the need to pray and never give up. However, remember a "No" is also an answer to prayer." from God Knows Best About Stress by Fun Nun Sister Mary Christelle Macaluso, RSM, OFN, PhD<br />
So even when the Master Gardener doesn't remove the big old clump of dirt out of my way He is still answering my prayer. He has a better plan than I do and I need to trust in it. This is so hard at times, but necessary to become stronger and wiser and more fruitful for His world. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A beautifully weeded garden. Hard to believe it is mine.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Working hard at growing.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A potato plant moving a mountain.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyvJmJqzZGWLvZS5KrgR5Z2Om98HiKiGKd0oDnMKnnWh3fxqeqFRehZVnGSk_Y0vXH3TvrsUtS7oxTBrvmuV0CvfFJFP0gi9d3JABLwioKlsPExfNUY4yHlRtpSR4ttq6YkGn_vPapOrA/s1600/20140530_192607.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyvJmJqzZGWLvZS5KrgR5Z2Om98HiKiGKd0oDnMKnnWh3fxqeqFRehZVnGSk_Y0vXH3TvrsUtS7oxTBrvmuV0CvfFJFP0gi9d3JABLwioKlsPExfNUY4yHlRtpSR4ttq6YkGn_vPapOrA/s1600/20140530_192607.jpg" height="400" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The potato plant after moving the mountain.</td></tr>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-89278046961696319822014-06-03T05:48:00.001-07:002014-06-08T23:16:10.821-07:00The Prayer or Blessing Against Storms<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">With the news warning our area of some major storms coming our way I thought I would share a prayer for protection against storms that a good friend (MP) shared with me a few years ago. It has given me comfort during some pretty bad storms since she shared it, and if you know me you know I need it when the weather gets bad. (This one comes from <u>The Pieta Prayer Book</u></span><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now before I go on to the prayer, if you have any outstanding prayers please feel free to share. I especially love praying prayers that others have had positive experiences with.</span><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please use the prayers anyway you wish. Take it or leave it. Or if you have one you like better share it and I will add it to this blog so others can chose. </span><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I prayer for your safety and peace. God bless.</span><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u>The Prayer or Blessing Against Storms</u></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;">Jesus Christ, a King of Glory, has come in peace. God became man, and the Word was made flesh. Christ was born of a virgin. Christ suffered. Christ was crucified. Christ died. Christ rose fromt he dead. Christ ascended into heaven. Christ conquers. Christ reigns. Christ orders. May Christ protect us from all storms and lightning. Christ went through their midst in peacde and the word was made flesh. Christ is with us with Mary. Flee, you enemy spirits, because the Lion of the Generation of Juda, the Root of David, has won. Holy God! Holy Powerful God! Holy Immortal God! Have mercy on us. Amen! </span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;">(</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">This prayer originated in a convent and church in Lisbon, Portugal. Pope Innocent III, 1198-1216, ordered it published.)</span><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This showed up in my Facebook, it really made me think of my Grandma Dvorak. It's one of those God things since it showed up around the anniversary of her birthday in heaven. The only reason I remember that it is close to the end of March is.... she wanted to die in March and it wasn't happening and she was starting to get upset. LOL OK let me explain that one. Grandma was a VERY devout Catholic, I don't think she went anywhere without a rosary in her pocket or somewhere near by. She loved St. Joseph the foster father of Jesus and as Catholics we dedicate the month of March to St. Joseph. She wanted to die in the month of St. Joseph. I just love that God granted her final wish and took her home in the month she so desired.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Grandma taught me so much. She was a classroom teacher but also a silent teacher. She was the teacher that wanted you to learn something but she wouldn't tell you what you had to figure it out and she rejoiced with you when you did. She often said you needed to learn one new thing every day before you went to bed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She taught me to love my heritage. She was proud of where she came from. In fact my Dad will tell you he only started speaking English when it was time for him to start school. They spoke Czech in the house while he was growing up. She taught me how to polka, waltz and sing songs in Czech. She even gave me start on stage by giving me a solo, a couple of them. She taught me a song to The Blessed Virgin Mary and we would go to churches in the area and sing it for special occasions. The last time I sang it was at her funeral. (I really think she would be disappointed with me on that one. I better find it and find somewhere to do it again.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She taught me how to really love your spouse. (Silent teaching at it's best.) Grandpa had health problems for as long as I can remember. He was mobile and helping Dad on the farm in one memory and the next he was in a wheelchair. Grandma took care of him all the time. OK there was a short, and I mean short, stay at the nursing home, but he didn't like it there and she brought him back home and took care of him until he died. That is true love. On days that I am struggling with my relationship I just think of the love and laughter they shared and I can carry on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She taught me how to be a good teacher. I struggled with school for a time and she would help me work on things during the summer. We didn't hit it hard but we worked on things for maybe one week during the summer. The fun ways she found for me to learn only inspired me to find the same fun things for the students in my care. Also at her wake and funeral I lost count of the people who said, "She was the best teacher." Not many families who's loved one lives past 90 can say there was a FULL church at their funeral. I CAN!!! Oh and she taught me chocolate helps boost your brain power. Yeah we studied with M&M's or some kind of chocolate near by. No wonder so many people liked her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She taught me how to laugh at life and not take things too seriously, unless you have to. With Grandpa's illness she could have been so negative, but not her! If something happened, like Grandpa spilling his chew can, she would find a way to laugh about it. She always had a smile on her face. I don't remember he being sad. I know she probably was, but she didn't let it become our burden, it was hers alone. Man, I miss that smile and laugh. My uncle laughs that she got the last laugh when she passed away. The day/night of her wake was a beautiful, sunny, warm day. That night we sang "On Eagle's Wings", a song she did not want at her funeral (but it was her wake). The next morning was cold and dreary. My uncle says she told God to "punish us" with the cold weather for singing that song. LOL</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is her at our wedding.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here she is holding two of her Great-Grand babies Reid and Christopher.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The last thing she taught me was how to love God more than anything. Like I said she had a rosary near by all the time. She would find God's hand in ANYTHING that happened to her. She taught me to believe God will take care of everything and ask the Saints for help when you don't know where else to turn. She taught me which Saints, especially her favorite, would help you and when. I was even blessed to be baptized on her birthday. When I started college she even sent me a prayer to help me get through tests. It was a great help. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was so sad when she passed away. I was 7 months pregnant with Breanna and knew she was a girl. Grandma was so excited for me. I really couldn't wait for them to meet each other. I feel like she was meant to help me with Breanna from heaven. I needed another advocate at the feet of God to help with the trials that are Breanna. What is really funny is Breanna just came in the room and looked over my shoulder as I was cropping one of these pictures looked at it and laughed her laugh of recognition. I think she knows who Great-Grandma is and probably sees her often. Lucky girl.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Long story short. I've been thinking about her a lot and the post on Facebook was just so timely I had to share. I am so blessed to have had Grandma as my guide through life and into the next. I miss her greatly and can't wait to see her again. If she didn't make it to Heaven I don't stand a chance!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not a colored photo, but I bet the shirt had purple in it.</span></td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-36948580284460860892013-10-03T17:55:00.002-07:002013-10-03T17:55:18.629-07:00Interesting Trip<div dir="ltr">
Well after, what we figure to be, nearly 4 years it was time to make a trip to Minnesota for a new brace for Breanna. This has to be our most interesting trip so far. We went to church at home and after two weeks of not going to church for Breanna she did fairly well. (the rest of the family went to Mass the two weeks, it just worked better for her to stay home and to divide and conquer those weeks). We stopped and ate dinner in Sioux City. After a fairly calm meal we hit the interstate. In the first few miles we saw a lot of pickups pulling flatbed trailers. Of course the big question was, I wonder if they are going home empty handed from the historical car auction in Pierce, NE the day before. Then we saw the one pictured and the captions flew. I just hope they have the proper paperwork for the heavy haul. I do like the fact that they think they will be able to move snow with such small equipment. </div>
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A few hours later we found ourselves about 30 minutes from the hotel. Suddenly the interstate turned into a two lane and found ourselves at a complete stop and in a HUGE line of vehicles. Tom was worried that our favorite heavy hauler had crashed. Soon a tow truck came by on the shoulder of the road. Needless to say that sitting still in the van, when not watching a football game, a little lady was VERY antsy. Since we were sitting still in the van Tom put it in park. There is a child safety lock for the sliding doors on the van which was locked. She came up (she won't keep her seat belt on) and kissed mom and dad. Somewhere during that she turned off the child lock. She then sat down and pushed the button to open her door. Remember we are sitting on the interstate. Dad and I panicked and managed to get the door closed while Reid held her so she would not jump out. I'm ready for a new vehicle where the child locks are hidden. Finally we were able to move and never did see what was really happening ahead. What should have to us 30 minutes took nearly 2 hours. I do think our guardian angels were at work that night. We had stopped before the delay and got supper. Tom decided to park the van and eat instead of driving and eating. I believe that decision helped us to avoid being the cause of the stop on the interstate. Thank you angels for protecting us.</div>
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OK after we finally got to the hotel we are all tired and just want to get to the room and move around and maybe even get to sleep. I go into the hotel and get the room key/card. The whole family followed me in since they needed to use the restroom. We go up to the room and on the one wall is a huge, how can you miss it, black smear of something. Maybe mud, but Tom was more worried it may be blood. Anyway, the boys leave to get our things while Breanna and I check out the rest of the room. While Tom was down at the desk he stopped and told them what we found in the room. They said it had been Homecoming that weekend and the opposing team's fans (Iowa State I believe they said, not to name names) had not been real nice. They would move is and put the room on the list to be cleaned/fixed. We were happy to be moved. We unloaded and went to bed. </div>
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The next morning I went to unpack my bag, we each pack our own duffle bag and mine is washable so all the dirty clothes go in it coming home. I opened a drawer and this is what I found. <br />
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I immediately broke into laughter and my family thought I had officially lost it. We all had a good laugh (but it does make me question unpacking my things into hotel drawers again) and left for the day. I took the photo and then showed it to the gentleman working the front desk. He laughed with us again. His comment, " I know this sounds bad, but that's impressive. I will make sure housekeeping takes care of it." It was gone by the time we came back, but the photo will forever live on. I just hope Reid doesn't think he needs to top that on any trips he takes.</div>
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One thing we did figure out was, we were somewhere on the Minnesota State campus. Here's a photo of the stadium from the front of the hotel.<br />
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We drove and walked around there and we couldn't tell you where the campus began or ended. We did notice though that the students we saw were all very nicely dressed. I did not see any different colored hair or any goth-like dress. I was very impressed. </div>
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The best part was this hotel was maybe 8 blocks away from the hospital. Kind of missed the pool, but it was good to be together as a family. We were there for two more days, but I will save that for later, not as exciting though sorry,</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-12447279489656854802013-08-08T07:02:00.000-07:002013-08-08T07:02:43.439-07:00A Penny For My Thoughts<img src="http://www.orgsites.com/ar/penniesfromheaven/Pennies-From-Heaven2.gif" /><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Maybe I should start out saying that this post is not free....It cost you a penny. OK so it cost you a click, that's about all it will be worth anyway. :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have always bent over to pick up a penny or any coin I see on the ground. But since I read the poem <u>Pennies From Heaven</u> I look at that simple process different. (If you are not familiar with the poem <a href="http://heavens-gates.com/penniesfromheaven/" target="_blank">click here</a>.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">One day, last year, a student came in from recess with a penny they had found on the playground. I started telling them the story and then looked it up on line. There I found the website I shared above and along with it came the <a href="http://heavens-gates.com/penniesfromheavenstory/" target="_blank">short story</a> that inspired the poem. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Since researching this story further I have really taken note of the pennies I have found. One that particularly stands out is on I found in my van when I opened one of the sliding back doors to let my daughter out after a really bad day in church and there was one in the middle of the door. Before this I was standing outside church with her, both of us in tears, and me crying out (silently) that God would send some strength and help. I have lost so many really close, loving people in my life that I know I have many Saints watching over me. (I will explain why I call them Saints another time.) That penny, to me, was an answer to my prayer. I just needed that small reminder that I NEVER am alone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have also noticed even more of a drive to walk away from some of the pennies I find on the ground. It's as if someone is telling me, "That is not meant for you." I know I'm strange that way, but that is how I feel sometimes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes I even leave it lay hoping that it will help make someone else's day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Most importantly, anytime I find one I make sure to say a quick thank you to who ever may have sent me that penny. But most importantly it always, always puts a smile on my face.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now do I feel that this is strange, yeah sometimes. But I think we all need to believe in something, even if it is a bit strange. Football players and even whole teams have things they do because it helps them get through the game. I say if what helps you get through doesn't get in the way of living life, go for it. Let's face it picking up pennies doesn't inter fer with anything, unless you are power walking then it better be a dime so you can turn on it. :) But all kidding aside, I don't just look for the physical pennies to help me get through trying times, there are other pennies that appear as well. I know as long as I believe and look with the eyes of faith the pennies will fall where and how they will. It is my job to watch for them and not just step over them. After all the saying is "God will provide" and boy does He!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-19742731112122674902013-07-11T18:51:00.001-07:002013-07-11T18:51:59.501-07:00Ironic<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">After a very eventful trip to Walmart the other night I did a lot of reflecting. I'm going to share three of the awful experiences I've had having a daughter with a handicap. I want you to see if you notice what I noticed. (Don't worry I will share my reflections at the end.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> The first one that comes to mind is. About 4 years ago already I grabbed Breanna from daycare and went to Yankton to do my weekly grocery shopping. It had been a long day in the classroom and she had had long day as well. Along with something I figured out on another trip, but that doesn't weigh into the story. I was trying to get through Walmart as fast as I could and Breanna was having a fit, screaming about something in the cart. I was pushing her through the store getting stressed myself and her screams were getting louder and louder. Suddenly a woman on one of the store's electric carts, wheels over looks Breanna in the eyes and says, "What the he## is your problem." In an action that would make my Mother proud, I pushed Breanna away from the lady and didn't say anything. (If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> The second incident I want to share with you actually happened at McDonald's. Tom, Breanna and I were in McDonald's trying to get her through a meal IN the store rather than our van. She was doing really well and the store was full of elderly men and women. When Breanna finished she started signing "all done" and the screaming soon followed when we didn't leave fast enough. Tom and I were trying to eat as fast as we could and get Breanna out of the store. These two elderly women started whispering and looking at us. It didn't take me long to realize they were talking about us. Soon their comments got louder so I could hear them. By now I had gotten my back bone and looked at them and calmly explained she has Autism and this is her way of telling us she is finished and we need to leave. We then finished our meals and left.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> The last incident happened just this week. Once again we were in Walmart, our home away from home, and it had been a long day for everyone again. Breanna was once again upset, still haven't figured out why, and screamed through the store. (Let me explain that I have finally led myself to believe that it is a BIG store so her screaming only bothers a few people close to us. LOL) I went to check out and she LOVES putting her hands on the belt that carries our items to the cashier. This cashier was a gentleman who was sitting on a chair as he rang us up. He was finished totaling my bill and shut the belt off. Breanna has watched how this is done enough that she knows how to turn it on herself. Most cashiers will just leave it on and finish with us then go on. Not this gentleman, he turned it off. She turned it on. He turned it off and glared at her. She turned it on and smiled. He turned it off and I thought he was going to slap her hand, but he didn't. I told her to sit down in her chair and wait for mom to finish, which she politely did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Have you figured out what is alike in all these stories? Upon reflection I realized that all those who showed disgust at Breanna were themselves handicapped. Ironic isn't it? You would think that the people who suffer hardships themselves would be the most compassionate, most understanding, most patient. I'm not finding that to be the case. I'm not an expert at reading people, but can't help but wonder if there is some anger within them because of their own disability that they don't feel sympathy toward others with problems. (Does that make sense?) I've even seen teachers who have handicapped children be the least compassionate to handicapped students. I can't put my finger on why, and hope that I'm not one of those people. I pray that my experiences with Breanna have softened me to be the compassionate, loving, patient person that I would hope others with my experience would be. It frustrating enough to not be able to finish things in public due to melt downs, I really hate having to worry about what others are thinking. It can get one down if you let it. It's just crazy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I just had to share what I've noticed. I pray the whole world won't be like this to my family, especially my children. I pray that Breanna and Reid will grow up to be more understanding and patient with others. I pray that some how these three people will find a softening in their heart to be more understanding, more compassionate, more gentle. God be with all of them and all of you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-88546472442309819962013-07-06T18:16:00.000-07:002013-07-06T18:16:19.125-07:00Fairness <span style="font-size: large;">I know interesting topic. I will see if I can do it justice. We have all had a little one at some time tell us, "That's not fair". One of my students told me her dad always said, "You get what you git and you don't throw a fit." Easier said than done.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> When I took my Special Education classes the instructor told us, on more than one occasion, that if someone says "that's not fair" we are to remind them that we all get what we need to succeed. Some of us need crutches, some need glasses and some need more drastic things like wheelchairs and oxygen tanks. I know if I HAD to use a wheelchair, even though I don't NEED it, it would drive me nuts. I would think to myself, "Why can't I just stand up go to point B?" But I STILL find myself saying to God, "It's not fair!!!"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> It's days like today that make me cry this out to God over and over. We had a family gathering and for some reason Breanna was not happy. So she grabbed my hand and wanted to go sit in the oven, I mean van. I redirected her several times, but she was having nothing to do with it. I had a few stops to make in town so we left and came back. "This is NOT FAIR"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Upon arriving I told her we were going to go swimming. (She LOVES water.) I hauled all of our stuff to the bath house to change. I dressed both of us got her in the water and a relative calls out, "OK kids let's get out so we can go." She knew the voice and she was done. SIGH "This is NOT FAIR"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I changed her back into regular clothes and she pulls me right back to the van. So I sat in the oven, I mean van, watching the family interact, laugh and enjoy each other's company. "This is NOT FAIR"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I often find myself sitting back and watching, don't worry I've had plenty of practice with this even before Breanna so I'm an expert at it. That doesn't mean that I enjoy watching. Let's face it all anyone wants is to belong and to feel wanted and/or missed. ( I think that is what is driving me more and more to write this blog, I feel that I am talking to someone.) And sitting on the outside looking in more than being on the inside makes me cry out "This is NOT FAIR".</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I don't understand, and don't think I will understand until I stand before God, how this is FAIR. How this is either the glasses, or wheelchair, or oxygen tank I need to get through this world. I have lost track of or lost close contact with some very dear friends since we cannot go out as a family. I feel alone in this big world A LOT. I'm tired of swimming around crying "This is NOT FAIR" but it's the life I've been chosen to live.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Jesus didn't use those four words but he did try to understand more, and get out of dying for us in the Garden of Eden before he was crucified. He knew why it had to happen, yet he cried out His own version of "This is NOT FAIR". </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I know I can't walk away from this burden, but I often feel that the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I just look into that beautiful face of my amazing daughter and think "this is not fair" that I can't remain mad at the situation and I carry on. After all it's not fair for me to give up on her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-47582054689187278432013-07-01T06:55:00.001-07:002013-07-01T06:55:44.816-07:00I'm Worn<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I have started this blog so many times. Many times I have erased and started over. The last thing I want is anyone to feel sorry for me or feel I'm a whiner. (Although at times I know I am.) But now that I've been home and the life of "I have to be home in time for Breanna" is really setting in, I'm becoming worn out. On the weeks/days she has school she is picked up anytime between 8:30 and 9:00 depending on how long it takes to load the beautiful little girl that rides with her. Then she arrives at home between 3:15 and 3:30. So to go anywhere and do anything is stressful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> "I can't go here because it will be ____ before I even get there then I have to leave at _____ to get back for her." </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> "If I go here I will have time to do______ and not do _____."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> So I haven't really be able to have any "me time" outside of my hour in church at 11:00 at night on Fridays. I'm beginning to feel it too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I needed to go to Sioux City to get shoes for Tom and other items for projects around here. Miss Breanna has been a one stop, shop, and go home, kind of kid. Thus WalMart and I have become best friends. Well, Mom and Reid pushed that limit to the max Saturday. We went to the mall, which alone is a stressor, where she flapped her way down the hall and back. She was so good I stood at the treadmills for 5 minutes, ignoring the sign to not let children play on them, while she worked hard on trying to move the belt on them. She wouldn't move to the next one until she made the current one move. She's determined and stubborn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Next we went to the shoe store for Tom's shoes. I knew the moment we walked in this may be a problem. The smell of all the new shoes was strong to me I can't imagine how it was slapping her in the face. Sure enough the flying wasn't enough it was time to insert the screaming. That was a snatch and run store.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I left Reid and her in the van while I buzzed the craft store on a mission for 4-H items. After all it's crunch time for those things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Next was her favorite store Walmart. That was fine until she saw the doors and leaving was the only thing she could think of. So we didn't even make it to the food side of the store. Guess I have to go grocery shopping another day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I really tipped the scale when I did Sam's. The screaming was through the whole store. I felt like I was on one of the game shows where they are given a time limit to grab as much as you can. Sadly we were done, but grandma called and wanted two more things. That was too much weight on one side and the system crashed. We grabbed what was needed and got in line. The beautiful lady in front of me offered to let me go first and told me I was strong and she admired me for taking her out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> (Here's where the post really should start.) After all that happened that day and the comment that was made I really felt I needed to write this. The comment made me feel really good. After all it wasn't a negative one for a change. But strong was not how I was feeling right then. I wanted to fall to the floor into a sobbing blob and be soaked up by the floor. I HAD to keep going, we were nearly an hour from home and I HAD to drive home yet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> It's times like this that song <u>I'm Worn</u> by Tenth Avenue North comes to mind. I don't feel strong.....I feel like I would have a hard time kicking over an anthill. I needed the support of that stranger to know that I'm doing the right thing and not everyone is frowning on my screaming, flapping young lady. I know some of you are looking for the religious inspiration in this, and I could give you soooooo many things, but I think I'm going to keep that out of this post. I want to use this one to have you look at something a bit differently.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I hope that in reading this post you are inspired to give someone who is worn the acknowledgement that you see their struggle. Even if it's just smiling at them and saying hang in there. This goes for family members as well as strangers. We were at a family gathering one day and my brother smiled at me and said, "You are fine, don't give up." That was all it took for me to not say, "I'm going to go home so you can all enjoy each other's company." </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I may be worn, but life keeps going on and I have to keep going. I ask that you please look at others differently. If you see a child throwing a fit, look at the picture closer before you judge the parenting. There are sooo many other factors that can be involved. Flash your smile not your judgement card. I hope you enjoy the video as much as I do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-METBrlP3xU" width="480"></iframe></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-25006270441175742002013-06-24T17:03:00.001-07:002013-06-24T17:35:24.252-07:00HIS Timing Not mine<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">God has a great plan for your life. He is directing your steps. In His perfect timing, everything will turn out right. -- Joel Osteen</span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> This was posted today and is soooo appropriate for my life right now. Today was another interview and yet another "I'm sorry but we decided to hire another person who interviewed." Now I could sit in my easy chair with a box of tissues and chocolate and either a sappy movie or a sappy book to have a good cry. But why??? As much as I want to curl up into a ball and cry I know deep down there is a reason for the no. There is something better coming. I have to have faith and know that He will take care of me.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> Today I had to go to Yankton and get my eye checked. Saturday Breanna was upset and scratched my eye, even knocking out my contact. It has been burning ever since so i needed to get it looked at to make sure she didn't damage my eye. (I know she is killing my hearing by screaming directly into my ear she doesn't need to take my sight too. Oh and everything was OK.) Back to the story, on the way there I got behind a pickup pulling a grain cart with traffic just right so I couldn't pass. My first instinct was, "Blessed Farmer taking up the whole road!" Then my mind went back to the story I've read time and time again of all the people who were not in the Twin Towers on 9/11 because of some kind of little obstacle and God put that obstacle there so they WOULDN'T be there. (A couple examples that stick out...someone was late due to it was his morning to provide the donuts and there was a line in the donut shop....a dad wanted to take his daughter to her first day of school....someone got a blister from their new pair of shoes and they stopped for a band aid.) Since I've really reflected on that story I don't get upset with those situation anymore. OK so I still get upset with the other drivers that make the choices to pass or do something life threatening, but not with the obstacle that is in my way.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> I know deep in my heart, and firmly believe that God has a plan and purpose for me. Do I get mad at Him? You bet I do! I want, like many of you, the neon flashing sign with the arrow and specific directions where to turn. OK I want God to take over my GPS and tell me in His soothing voice, "turn left at Albuquerque, apply for the job at _________, stay home and be the Mom you are meant to be for the children I have given you and the husband I have blessed you with."</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> But I know that's not going to happen. I can't sit back on my heels and wait for that to happen. I have to do some work. In this work it may cause pain and confusion, but it WILL be worth it! God isn't there with a neon flashing sign, but He is there with a gentle whisper in my ear, a slight push on the shoulder, and sometimes a kick in the you-know-what. I need to stay alert and be ready to feel and hear Him talking to me.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> So I will not look at the "No" from the last three interviews hold me back. I will carry on with my head held high and keep looking for the small signs. </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> But God, just a reminder, I am getting deaf due to the little challenge you have given me called Breanna, so You may have to turn up the volume on Your voice so I can hear you. OK?!?!?!</span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-30783236679465031042013-06-13T06:28:00.003-07:002013-06-13T07:11:52.893-07:00Reflection On Things Lost <br />
Since school got out I have been HORRIBLE at following the Saint of the Day. I promised myself I would continue to reflect on that daily, but life happens. It has come to my attention that today is the feast of my favorite/most called upon saint (unfortunately), Saint Anthony. "Tony, Tony are you around something is lost and can't be found." (For those of you not familiar with Saint Anthony he is most known as the Saint to pray to for help in finding lost things.)<br />
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The other day I posted on finding my Teaching Certificate, I had called upon him for help and he answered. It took him awhile, but he helped. OK maybe it took me awhile to listen to him, but we finally connected. He has helped me find lost papers, lost favorite toys, and most importantly my lost diamond when it fell off my ring. (He was quick to respond then.) So he is called on often, mostly for "big" things.<br />
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But today I am reflecting on the fact that I forget to call on him for other, more important, lost things. I really should call on him more often for the lost friendships, lost relationships in general, and when I've lost my way. I know I've messed up on a lot of my friendships, I know we take our friends for granted and forget to take care of the relationship along the way and only realize it when they are gone. I have "lost" many great friends to the Lord calling them back home, and many "lost" friends are still roaming this world. The lost friends to death I know are watching over me. I have one friend I miss the most and during EVERY life event I miss having her beside me physically. yet I'm sure her presence now is even better. Today i will reflect even more on the lost friendships in my life and if there is one that I can "fix" I will work on that too.<br />
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Today I will not reflect on the "losses" I have experienced due to being blessed with a child with Autism instead I will reflect on what I have gained. Having B is a bit harder when I have nephew living in the same town that is one month younger than her and I attend his major life events. I tear up when I watch/go to weddings thinking what I lost with her. I find myself thinking about the dreams of having a daughter I've lost. I really need to change my lost thinking and reflect on all I've found with her. I have found some amazing friends, some I've met some I only know via facebook. I have found a simpler life where someone is not in need of the latest and greatest something, she is perfectly happy with a broken toy that she loves. Most importantly I have found what unconditional love truly looks like and feels. She loves me no matter what I look like, OK she laughed at me when I put on the cow jammies for school dress up day one day but that doesn't count. I have found a love I never thought was possible. I also have found a better place in my teaching for now I know what it is like to live with something daily and not just for 8 hours a day.<br />
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Today I will not reflect on the lost dream of one day taking my family to Disney. B cannot handle large crowds so I don't see that happening in the near future. Today, though, I will reflect on the fact that we found a way to make that dream possible for Reid. He was able to go with relatives this last year and says he had a good time. Although he openly admits he wishes mom would have been there. That makes my heart happy. I am so glad we were blessed to find a way to help make his dream come true. (Now if I just could find a way so I can make mine of going there someday come true we would be golden. LOL)<br />
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Today I will not reflect on the lost relationships that I thought were "the one". Today I will reflect on the wonderful man I found and married and cannot see how I would ever get along without him. Through every loss we have encountered we have found ourselves closer to each other. Although at times he drives me crazy and is not a person who likes to talk about the seriousness of life, he keeps me grounded and on track. I am so glad that I found my way to SEARCH and found him in such a wonderful God-filled experience.<br />
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(Sorry no photo of him as he HATES me taking his photo and I have to "pay" every time I take it. I'm way to far in debt to take, let alone post one on here. LOL)<br />
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It seems somewhat ironic that today is the day of my interview. I have shed many a tears over the "loss" of my job. I loved my job at West Catholic. I loved that I could openly speak of things I believe in and not worry about it. I loved the family atmosphere. I loved the feeling of my family came first. I am a bit worried about going into a public school setting again after that freedom, but God will provide. I can't help but wonder if Saint Anthony is "finding" my job that I lost. I will cling to that hope as I go forward into the unknown and go into this interview with my head up and faith that God will put me where He wants me when He wants me there. <br />
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I still can't help but wonder why we need to "lose" something over and over again before we "find" how important it is to us. After some time we become so comfortable that we forget to work with what we have to maintain it. For today I will reflect NOT on all I've lost, but on all I've found. For in what I have found I find God's purpose and calling in my life. I have found so many wonderful things why should I reflect on the loss. The joy in finding is sooooo much better. Hey look what I found!!!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9024808079407404502.post-27649475895761557032013-06-11T06:34:00.000-07:002013-06-11T06:53:38.508-07:00God Is Everywhere, Even in the Fridge <br />
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I have thought about doing this for a long time, but the time never seemed right. I put it in God's hands and now He has driven me to give it a go. I plan on sharing my joys, and happiness along with some of my trials. (Probably more trials than anything, but bear with me there WILL be joy.) Now that I've spent a few days at home, unemployed, and unable to physically talk with others since Tom has been taking Reid to the farm and Breanna is non-verbal I will consider this my "talk" with others. Some days it will be short and some days it will be longer. Please don't read it if you are a person who reads for errors, after all I'm only human and sometimes emotions will over rule proper grammer and spelling. LOL I will TRY to keep it light hearted and hopefully not TMI. (Too much information) <br />
What has compelled me to write this is an experience that I just want to share with SOMEONE, ANYONE, and if you have read this far you are blessed to be that person(people). I have to share a God experience that still has me floored and straining to hear His voice more.<br />
As I stated earlier I am currently unemployed and having a HARD time with that. Every morning I ask God to show me what he wants me to do. Do You want me to stay home and be there more for my daughter? Is there some special job you are calling me to do? Am I suppose to be "available" for the other non-paying (OK it pays in greater ways, but more on that another time) job you have put in front of me? Please show me!!!<br />
I feel like an impatient child waiting for Santa to see what great gift awaits me. I have been in these shoes before, no job and no clue what is in store, they are more comfortable and more "me". I know that God has something better in place for me. I just wish He wouldn't wait so long to show me. <br />
Well yesterday I was getting dinner ready for the family, something that I have always regretted and now am finding comfort in since it makes me feel needed, and I was standing in front of the fridge thinking dinner. But my mind suddenly went to "God if You want me to stay home and do this daily I need a sign, because I'm not feeling that's where You really want me." Not even 5 minutes later the house phone rang with caller ID saying Yankton Public Schools. I had applied for a Computer job there (not lesson plans, no grading papers, work is work and home is home type of job, I think). I had decided that they must have filled it and I was not even in the running. How wrong I was!! They wanted to set up an interview! They WANT to see ME!! OK I may be reading too much into it, but I'm now not so sure God wants me to stay at home. I have to keep trying for jobs.<br />
Another sign of this is... I couldn't find my Teaching Certificate and two other positions I wanted to try for needed a copy of it. I prayed to Saint Anthony over and over and over and over. I finally said, "OK Saint Anthony if I'm not suppose to be a teacher anymore keep it lost." (Yes I was desperate.) Guess what I found last night! I guess I'm suppose to teach.<br />
I don't feel I was threatening God, or Saint Anthony, I just wanted the flashing, neon, bright sign in the darkness. Is God really leading me that way or am I looking too hard for things? I don't know, but I'm ready for the ride. After all He's never led me wrong before.<br />
OK I think that's enough for the first blog. I WILL include some photos when I see fit and when I figure out how to do it. Right now I have to get a little lady ready for school. (BTW she "shows" me God's blessings often and you will learn a LOT about her as this goes.) So God bless and may you find God in your fridge. :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17566290772453663858noreply@blogger.com1