1. IF you are not religious or like reading religious things STOP now!
2. I know the person did not mean to hurt my feelings, rather she meant to help. I am NOT mad at her and know she meant well.
3. This may be long.
4. This is actually the second time I am writing this. I started on my phone and accidentally erased the whole thing. I know, I know save. I will do that right now.
I am usually not one to get offended easily and actually it took me a couple days to process what happened and come to terms with what happened.
I am always looking to expand my religion and what I believe and why. I enjoy talking with people about my faith (can you tell). I live like my Grandmother did..."never go to bed without learning something new".
I was talking with a lady the other day about Breanna and how she has strengthened my faith. I mean some times that's all I have to help me get through the day/hour/minute/second. Some days I am praying every hour/minute/second. I have to believe God has a plan and I have to trust in that plan.
I was telling her that I have often thought of taking Breanna to a healing Mass. She asked me where I was thinking of taking her. I told her a town nearby., but I was worried about taking her to a different church. After all she has issues in our church going there every weekend. This lady recommended a priest who is actually located in a parish near my hometown. This was very interesting to me. I may look into that more.
Now here is where I was challenged. Let me just say once again she didn't mean anything by her comments, but they really threw me for a loop.
She told me that I should have Breanna prayed over. She also told me we should have a generational healing done. God does not make people handicapped, we do it by our sins or the sins of our ancestors. I didn't know what to say.
It has taken me years to make myself believe Breanna is not the way she is because of something I did. Now here is this person telling me it might be my fault. Talk about one step forward and two steps back.
Now I believe God has been preparing me for Breanna for a long time. Here are my reasons.
1. I was going to go to college and be a music teacher. My band teacher talked me out of it.
2. I was in college for Elementary Education only. A Special Education instructor came and in told us about being a Special Education teacher and I added that major.
3. I did A LOT of respite care for many children with many different handicaps.
4. Most of my teaching career has been Special Education.
All those experiences gave me many different ideas and methods that I can use with Breanna now.
I have thought about this conversation for a while now. I know she didn't mean to upset me. She is a person I admire and look up to. Her ideas and belief are what I would love to have and I love to learn from.
To me Breanna is not a curse or someone God is punishing me with. Ok on bad days I may feel a bit different but I am only human. She blesses me in so many ways that it's hard to explain. I look to Breanna for an example of unconditional love. She doesn't care that you just yelled at her for breaking your favorite item she will give you and smile and the best hug in the world. She has the most awesome smile that just melts the hardest heart. Her hugs are the deepest most heartfelt hugs you can ever experience. Because of her I am more patient, and understanding of others. You can't see everyone's burdens or trials be nice anyway. Because of her I feel I am a better person.
I also see how she affects others. Especially her dad and brother. I don't know if I would have seen the patience and understanding those two can show without her. They both love her and I know she loves them. She gets soooo excited when they come home.
She is a blessing, not a curse. While I do believe having her prayed over and for is helpful I do not believe that her condition is due to so sin of someone else. God doesn't punish, I know some of you would say there are examples in the bible of him punishing someone. Yes but look how bad those offenses were and he gave them signs to change their ways. God will help me, like He always has. Carrying me if He needs to.
Here is what I want you to take from this. Please be very careful what you say to different people. Especially to someone who is struggling with their life or situation already. Make sure what you say is supportive and its not going to hurt them in some way. Again I am not hurt and I am probably stronger because of this encounter. It made me look at my faith and what I believe closer. It made me write this to share with all of you. As the saying goes....God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
Here is what I want you to take from this. Please be very careful what you say to different people. Especially to someone who is struggling with their life or situation already. Make sure what you say is supportive and its not going to hurt them in some way. Again I am not hurt and I am probably stronger because of this encounter. It made me look at my faith and what I believe closer. It made me write this to share with all of you. As the saying goes....God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
